In this world of liberals and conservatives, we struggle to answer the long persistent enigma: “Can boys and girls remain as ordinary friends?” The answer is debatable. It is a subject which requires readers to ponder and reflect. While one can come across people who will nod in agreement, there are countless who will suggest otherwise due the natural heterosexual attraction which exists between both genders.

We live in a world that is too diverse and every part of it has different Scio-political traditions stemming from their ancestors and driven by religion or old customs. Such diversity accordingly shapes everyday life which also includes the nature of relationship of a boy and girl. A quick glimpse at the medieval practices which thrive on segregation suggest that male and females cannot have any social interaction but can only have social contract which is marriage in pure sense. Anything beyond such a contract was deemed as immoral and something beyond the ambit of the then social practices. Non adherence to the set customs was considered a total defiance which was then treated brutally.

This confounding debate also stems from social media. Social media like Facebook, and movies like Ho Mann Jahan, Pakistani; Friends with Benefits, American; and Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani, Indian, have proved male and female friends turning lovers at some point of their friendship. Such social media strategies influence short term friendships turning them into a relationship.

In a friendship, involving a boy and a girl, where there is a great deal of respect for the other person, sense of security, trust, and confidence within one’s own self and in the partner, likely are chances of that friendship turning into a relation. This is because spending your life with someone you know is easier than finding someone, to know, in order to spend your lives together.

However, the inception of enlightenment followed by the era of modernity has changed everything.  The belief that men and women cannot be ‘just friends’ prevailed in an era when women were secluded to home and men were in the workplace, and their meetings indicated a relationship of an intimate nature. Today we make friends at workplace, in schools and in communities. Often such friendships remain professional.

Sometimes men and women tend to have conservative as well as egotistical viewpoints. Each views the other with inferiority, and discriminates the other gender based on stereotyped role each play. In such cases it is unlikely that the relation will exceed boundaries of being friends due to distinct thinking and reduced chances of compatibility.

Also, both friends may have distinct personalities; hence, due to lack of understanding, they may not find themselves compatible with each other for an intimate relationship. Thus, they restrict each other to the friend zone. Every relation requires elements of trust, patience and tolerance. Lack of any of these can still be endured in a friendship; however, a relationship which lacks the qualities mentioned above, is out of question. Therefore, impatient and intolerant people tend to remain just friends, and they avoid closeness.

Age plays a vital role in determining the answer. Very young boys and girls tend to be just friends. However, teenagers and adults may lead their friendship into a relation due to their concept of love, relationship and sexuality. Friends are people who are helpful and benign towards you, and they act as the source of entertainment and fun in your life. One can chat and gossip with them without any feelings of intimacy coming in between. School friends and classmates are best example of such peers where you may have a large group of friends of the opposite gender, yet they tend to remain just your peers and nothing more.

Like the thought that boys and girls can be friends, it is equally plausible to think otherwise. In a conservative society like ours, the interaction of man and women is not appreciated, hence the mingling of male and female is deemed as nothing but moral decadence.

However, this should not suggest in any way that they can’t be friends, as it is evident in our relatively moderate urban areas and elsewhere in the world that girls and boys mingle as mere friends without developing any complication of any sorts.

There can be countless arguments suggesting that a boy and girl and can be friends however arguments too exist to suggest otherwise. There are several factors which play a role when considering a boy and girl’s friendship. Hence, the answer to it is normative and will largely depend on the background, societal orientation, religion and culture of a particular society.